We all have things about which we refuse to discuss...
Not all of it is negative.. we just don't discuss it.
There's no real need to.
Some things are too precious to share.
Like Cinderella... If you tell your dreams they won't come true.
And, in opposition, if the world never knows your nightmares, they'll never judge you or know your weakness.
I have found staying quiet and being open enough is good.
It sets a certain safety function for people to accept you, while it also adds mystery.
Even when the closest people to you think you're open book, only you know what you truly are.
It's a special bond you build with yourself. We all know.. two can keep a secret is one of them is dead... just like the song... but the best part about having an inner friendship with the person you're obligated to spend time with everyday is ... You both know your secrets and love each other anyway...
This is the problem with relationships.. People jump into them before they have this bond with themselves and then BOOM ... failure because no one can love you as much as you love yourself.
And I'm no relationship expert.. I'm probably the epitome of what NOT to date... but... I will say through my MANY observations... it's best to keep somethings to yourself.
Some of these secrets are adventures I've had with other people and the best part about it.. is I will always share these special times with these individuals and no one else will ever know about it except us two. [or three if you consider my inner self as a third party, which I like to do]
And NO ONE can take these memories away from me. I love them. Some were more meaningful than others... like driving down Broadway at 3 am, blasting music on our way to hang in grandma's garage. And dancing in front of cars drunk off our ass at 2 pm during rush hour on Los Feliz. These are times I'll never forget.. times I'll always miss and time that made me who I am and helped me decided what I truly want... to be free.
We get stuck in our minds and judge ourselves and take the world too seriously. Lighten the fuck up! But don't be a fucking moron either. Life is real. And when you're stupid, life will be the first one to let you know when the lightening up needs to be grounded... like a hatchet to your skull, a bat to your face. You'll be hit when you go to far. But don't ever let the judgement of others stop you... just be willing to take the consequences up the ass. You might like it....
At the end of it all, I'm full of shit too. You don't have to listen to me... You do you.. Let's talk when you're done.
Beautiful people are created. By hurt and loss and recovery... you can be a hurt person and become a complete asshole. A bitter bitch. A negative "Oh, god, shut the fuck up" kind of person... or you can become beautiful... because you've seen the shiny, happy people side of life, and you've seen the I'll never do/become/know that side of life and you find a happy balance between the greatness and fuckery of it all. It's liberating when you do and then when you combine that with a fearlessness you've developed from saving yourself, there's really nothing else that can stop you except yourself.
So, accept yourself.. you're the only one that has to put up with your shit for the rest of your life so... learn to love it. Cuz it's all you got!
-L.A.
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